On my last trip, the wife and I visited Tennessee and everyone told me I was tall. Even though I’ve been getting that comment all of my life, It happened a lot more often during this trip. Maybe in Texas people are expected to be huge, I don’t know, but I felt like a sideshow attraction. Being a frustrated writer, I had to come up with a more fun explanation.
So, allow me to show you our trip and also let you in on a little secret I learned.
We went to Ruby Falls, which is a huge, underground waterfall. It’s very neat. For some reason, every Baby Boomer in our tour group felt like they needed to photograph every square inch of the place with their phones and tablets. Sure, their generation likes to complain about “those darned kids and their cell phones,” but they were the ones holding us up at every turn.
But, more importantly, the caverns leading to the waterfall aren’t very tall.
While walking through this collection of strange scenes I finally understood all that I had seen.
The creepy menagerie of gnomes that is totally not fit for kids. The tiny walkways and impossibly small tunnels. The way everyone treated my meager 6’6″ like a band of lilliputians surrounding Gulliver.
There was only one explanation: the town was built by gnomes that have learned to live as humans.
I was not walking through a roadside attraction, but a museum detailing the fantastic legacy of these people.
It was obvious to me that the locals were still adjusting to being normal sized. But how did these gnomes grow into human-sized people? I wasn’t sure until I found this provocative box in the lobby of a hotel that explained everything…